Life is for the Living
by applesaucetheninja42
Summary: "No she was not broken, simply bent, and in need of help. She was drowning in her past, and the world she had was crashing down. The world became gray, but when she looked at her, all she saw was blue." Elsanna modern AU. Marching Band. Trigger warning for sexual abuse, panic attacks.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello readers! I bring you an Elsanna story, which is modern AU, not incest. Hope you enjoy, and reviews are greatly appreciated :)**

**Disclaimer: Disney owns Frozen**

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Life is funny in the that it moves. It was such a contradiction to itself, life was joy, but it was also pain. Life was free, but enslaving all at once. A paradox of itself, that no being could possibly comprehend the multiple hues of it. In a small town, even there life bustles. Each individual to live his own, not completely aware of the multiple lives around him on a planet that was simply microscopic dust on the big view of the ever expanding universe.

In this small town, summer lived, with the golden rays shining upon emerald grasses that danced a hypnotizing ballad next to the shimmering water. The ground worn smooth by the feet of many people who had once walked here, and sat near the small fire, filled with the ashes of many nights. The pond shimmered a light blue, the skies mirror with nothing but simple lotus flowers floating gently on its surface.

The days that year had varied quite a bit, I recall the cool, winter-like days of spring, and mild summer that followed. It had even snowed on the night of Halloween. Along with crazy seasons, was an even more bizarre year. It was my freshman year of high school. I was a nervous wreck, frightening myself with ideas of what would await in that building. Images of bullies, pop quizzes, and rude teachers filled my older students had warned me of some of the worst teachers. Apparently the freshman Earth & Space Science teacher was a nightmare. Unfortunately these scenarios did not occur (save the terrible science teacher) what occurred that year, was indeed not something I anticipated to happen.

The summer before freshman year was quite boring. I was with friends, helped raise my new pet ducklings, and practiced my instrument. It appears that I neglected to mention that I was in the marching band, one of the most competitive ones on the East Coast. Last year we had placed third, it being our first year in USbands at Metlife. That was my eighth grade year, me and a few other section mates had been allowed in a year early. Band become a focal point in my lifestyle, I had even tried out and made it into the higher level Symphonic band as a freshman. The main instruments I played back in the days of my adolescence were the saxophone, violin, and clarinet, which was my main focus. My skill was admirable, but not prodigious in any way. I will admit that the district solo piece "_Adagio e Tarantella_" had been unnerving, and so I did not try out when I received the notice from my overly enthusiastic director. There were about twelve clarinets that year, the memory of my curly haired, loud, and charismatic section leader came to mind. The other section leader had made drum major that year, which was quite exciting to the section.

My two best friends were also in band, they were in the pit to be exact. Mulan had been playing as long as I'd been playing clarinet. We'd been in band together for an extensive period of time. Rapunzel, on the other hand, had just started playing in seventh grade. Though she had little experience, she worked hard and was rather talented. Mulan started on vibes, and Rapunzel on the glock. Neither had been close until this year, the previous year they only connection they had was through myself. The three of us were wholly excited to begin our freshman year together. We had adorable dreams, that all high school girls had, that we would be the best of friends throughout the years. This indeed was not the case, but I'll get to that in a future time.

In order for this to be logical it must be noted that in my eighth grade year of marching, Mulan and Rapunzel agreed to sit together one day to mix it up. Since there were three of us, I sat in the only empty seat behind the pair. In that seat sat a girl I had seen very rarely around school. It was likely that we had attended the same elementary school, but she was my senior by a year. At that point in time, she was a freshman. Her brown hair was thrown in a ponytail, held by our school's colored ribbon, as all the pit members did since most were female. In her hands was a book, the small freckles dotted her cheeks, and her blue eyes shot up to meet mine when I took a seat next to her.

"Hi. My name is Anna."

"My name is Hadley. Pleasure to meet you."

And with those two sentences, so began the chain of events that would wreak havoc in my life in approximately one year and seven months.

~line break~

Hadley and I had become friends over the course of that marching band season. She was a bit awkward, overly intelligent, and sweet. We sat on the bus together a few other times, and I would often wave to her during breaks when I saw the pit joining the winds for rehearsal. After the season ended, she was fairly somber. For she knew that Rapunzel, Mulan, and I were a year younger than herself, and so we would not see each other due to the fact that we were in different schools. Back at school, I'd met her younger sister, Eve. Now, the younger girl was completely different in almost every aspect. Eve was outgoing, she was very loud, and tended to ramble. The two did share the same brown hair, though Eve's was longer. I even noticed that Eve had faint freckles, unlike my own, which speckled across my body.

When the school year ended, Hadley hosted a party on June 6, 2013. The brown haired girl was completely ecstatic about the whole ordeal, for her friends would now be in the high school with her. I knew not too expect to many people, but was genuinely pleased to see eight of them. Of the group, I knew six of them. The other two appeared to be older than I. One of them looked vaguely familiar, and the other one I had no clue. The eight of us played games, and enjoyed swimming in the pool, despite the rainy weather that day. Plenty of food went around, and I sure did enjoy food. Eventually I decided to talk to the other two guests whom I was not familiar with.

"Hey, so what's your name? I mean not that you have to tell me, but uh… hi?"

The other girl laughed lightly.

"Don't worry it's not a secret, my name is Belle."

"Nice to meet you! What grade are you in? No wait, wait I can guess it. Okay I got this, are you a sophomore?"

"Nope."

"Junior?"

"You got it."

The two of us talked happily, apparently Belle one of the lead marimba players, and a section leader in the pit. A thought rang in my head, and I recalled a memory of Rapunzel talking about Belle. She had mentioned that Belle was incredibly talented, and hardworking at her music. The brunette could play the best out of any high school player, and had wonderful chops. I wasn't sure what that meant at the time, but I would in about six months since I would be playing marimba (not that I was aware of this). Anyways, Belle was also very kind, and patient with the pit. She had gained a fan of Rapunzel, and even Mulan admitted she was nice, which was saying something. I decided I liked her, though I was a bit surprised she was a junior considering that she looked younger than myself.

A clap of thunder interrupted all conversation, and I stood up to get a drink. As I poured myself a glass of sprite, another girl was at the table. She was grabbing a bottle of water, and smiled shyly at me. In my curiosity, I blurted out the first thing on my mind.

"You look like my friend Olaf!"

Realizing this, I slammed my palm over my mouth, and looked up at her slightly abashed. The platinum blonde girl's lips tugged into a small smile, bringing a bit of relief to my nervous self. She did look like Olaf, though, they shared the same button nose, and some of their facial features. Olaf was a year younger than me, a flute player. Though it wasn't a popular choice for boys, Olaf was did not care. It was the instrument he wanted to play, so he did. I didn't know him well at the time, but I knew he was good friends with Esmeralda, who was in my section. The first time I'd met him, he exclaimed that he liked warm hugs, and proceeded to hug me.

"Well I am his older sister so that makes sense."

"Oh! Oh that makes sense, sorry about being awkward. I'm just so me, and not that I'm always awkward. Well I kinda am, but besides the point I'm normal sometimes. Not if you ask Kristoff, but his opinion should be ignored, just so you're warned. Oh and my name is Anna!"

My face slowly began to turn red, realizing that I had rambled on to a girl I had never met. Smiling, I glanced up at her blue eyes.

"Nice to meet you Anna. My name is Elsa, and thanks for warning me about Kristoff."

"So are you a sophomore like Hadley?"

"No, I'm a junior this year, but I didn't do marching band my sophomore year."

Well that explained why I hadn't seen her in eighth grade.

"Oh cool, what instrument do you play?"

"Well this year I'm on marimba, but I just started learning in April."

"Oh wow, you must be really talented."

"I don't know about that, I'm not sure why the director put me on marimba."

"Please, I bet you're really good."

The two of us talked for a little bit, holding down small talk, though it was a bit awkward. I could see the others beginning to play a game, and I wanted to join. Eventually Elsa stated that she had to leave to pick Olaf up from a volleyball game. The other girls, and I said our goodbyes. In all honesty, I was a bit relieved that I didn't have to stand there awkwardly and talk about meaningless things. Even though she was nice, we didn't seem to be like the type to get along for a long period of time. I would completely take that statement back in a few months, and since it was completely untrue, but that's a different part of the story.

The remainder of the party, we played ridiculous games, and watched YouTube videos. Of course we discussed band, and the different aspects we had. I found band through the eyes of the pit to be fascinating. I too described what we did was marchers, and they listened intently. Belle had a large knowledge of band things, she had started her eighth grade year, and this was her fourth year in marching band in the pit. Her words captured me, and I gained insight into this aspect. In a way, I had always thought the pit had it easier, but after listening I knew they worked just as hard as we did. An hour of warm ups, mainly summertime did sound fairly awful. Eventually the party ended, and I went home to eat dinner, and fall asleep. Of course I would've been kept awake all night if I'd known what a monumental landmark in my life had just occurred, but I didn't even notice at all.

~line break~

I sat on the worn bench, the sky reflecting in my eyes that matched that very shade. Red hair was tied messily into a ponytail, and soft features graced my adolescent face. Birds chirped, and an immediate thought flew into my mind. _The sound of nature is really just a bunch of animals desperate to get laid._ My best friend's voice rang in my ear. The very thought was enough to elicit a small laugh. I smiled at the water, glancing at the silver fish beneath the sky's reflection. They delicately nipped at toes that rested in the coolness of the water. I had always loved the peace of the pond, how life here moved on and grew despite the events of the world. Children were playing at the playground, their shrill laughs sounding across the pond as they continued their game of tag. I came there often, for the area was of little distance from home. Therefore it was simple to walk to, and so it became a place where I would remain for long hours at a time.

"Hey."

My head whipped around to greet the sight of one of my best friend. Rapunzel's blonde hair was intricately braided, and draped across her left shoulder. Unlike myself, Rapunzel's features were sharper, and more defined. Her jade eyes flicked to me and I gave her a grin.

"Hey Punzy what're you doing here?"

"Eh, I thought I'd stop by. I figured you'd be down here."

"Stalker."

She jokingly hit arm,

"Hey I heard that! You ready for band today?"

"You know it! It's our second year, at least I won't trip this year."

Rapunzel let out a laugh, thinking back to the time I had oh so gracefully fallen onto my rear. The image of the red haired girl hitting the asphalt in a completely unsophisticated manner was enough to grace our features with a grin every time it was mentioned.

"Shush I won't trip. At least I didn't think a piccolo was a pickle-o that you could get on a sandwich."

"Hey that was one time! Besides I'm in the pit I can't know these sorts of things."

The two of us continued to chat excitedly about the topic, both of us were thrilled at the prospect of a new show to perform. At Southview High, the music program was elite, with a world class guard and an excellent band we were very good. After the passing of two members, the band was inspired to do a show that would inspire people. I had met Rapunzel at a field trip to a farm. She had been curious to see if the electric fence was on, and she proceeded to throw a blade of grass at it. When nothing happened she reached out until the tips of her fingers grazed it. Punzy's reaction was immediate, her arm jerked back as she stumbled backwards while letting out a yelp. The entire event occurred within three seconds. I was with her, along with Mulan, and eventually we all became close friends. We continued talking, and laughing.

"Hey you got your braces off!"

"Yeah right on time too, just before we start high school."

"Meh I still have mine. I can't wait to get rid of 'em."

After talking to one another, we eventually made their way to my house. A two story white colonial sat in a field of grass that should have been cut a few days ago, with green bushes and bright flowers that would soon require the weeds to be pulled from around their roots. A hyperactive dog dashed to the front, his dark fur glinting in the sun. It was obvious that he had been in the mud. His soft tongue hung from his mouth as he panted, his tail wagging rapidly as he greeted us.

"Hi Shiloh!" Rapunzel cooed at the black lab.

The dog excitedly danced around us, making the both of us laugh. When we walked in, the scent of lavender greeted our noses. A woman with ash brown hair stood at the counter, the slender fingers of a pianist flicked carelessly through the mail. She turned to look at the two of us.

"Hey sweetie. How are you?"

"Good, is it alright if Rapunzel stays here for a bit?"

"Yeah sure. Nice to see you Rapunzel."

"You too Mrs. Summers."

The soft tap of footsteps echoed as we walked up the wooden steps.

"I'm pretty sure she didn't realize I was gone." I mentioned.

"She probably did, but you do that often so it's not unusual." Rapunzel responded.

"Yeah probably."

The topic was dropped and for awhile we chatted, and messed around. The room was a lively caribbean blue. Clear shaded christmas lights decorated the edge of the ceiling, leaving an artful arrangement of shadows across the walls. Posters glinted in the light, and random clothe items were strewn carelessly across the floor. The furniture was a simple white along with the white carpet that was stained by multiple drinks that were spilled on it. Like many teenagers, we spent an abundant amount of time on Youtube to watch ridiculous videos, and chatted about different Youtubers that were dating at the time. I believe that we found videos and enjoyed honest trailers, and a peculiar video known as _cows & cows & cows. _Being musicians we eventually ended up playing with the instruments distributed around my room.

"I swear I will never figure out in the world you solve these." Rapunzel stated staring at the collection of rubik's cubes sitting on my desk.

Neither of us were sure why I started solving them. I wasn't very good at math, but somehow I had managed this.

"Eh they're not that difficult, all you have to know is some algorithms."

"Can I scramble one and you solve it?"

"Sure."

Rapunzel's fingers worked quickly in an attempt to scramble the cube in a way that would be difficult to solve. I knew that the more she did this, the easier it would be to solve. When my best friend handed me the scrambled cube she immediately knew it would be an easy solve. Teal eyes flicked over the colored surface, and quickly my fingers got to work to solve the puzzle that had frustrated many. Within thirty five seconds the cube was solved. Rapunzel grinned and shook her head.

"I swear I will never understand you. It looks like you mix it up after you figure something out but then it gets fixed and you solve it."

"Yeah but sometimes things to have to get messy to get solved."

I looked at the solved puzzle, and once again I scrambled it into a brightly colored mess.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hello readers! Thank you for returning, and enjoy the next chapter. Reviews are always appreciated, especially constructive criticism. **

**Disclaimer: Disney owns Frozen, this is for my own enjoyment  
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"Reset!"

The director barked at us, and the wind section scrambled back to their previous spot in the block. It was the middle of August, and the temperatures had not yielded. The air was thick, and oppressive. The blazing sun on the blacktop was not aiding us in any way, instead the members of the band were covered in sweat. We were only three hours into practice, with only seven hours left to go not counting dinner, or lunch. The director was called aside by another staff member, and he asked the guard director to run our basics. This was not good.

"Now, follow directions the first time or you can run a is how I do it with the guard. Yeah? Now get set!"

Arms flew into position, and no former member would make the error of moving. Unfortunately, a newbie did not get the message, and shifted in his spot. I swallowed, feeling pity for the boy, since I had been rather fidgety myself when I was new. The guard director walked up to the boy, for he was the only one to make the error of moving while the director was watching.

"Do we move during set sweetie?"

"No."

"Why did you move?"

"My nose itched, I"m sorry."

"Don't worry about it. Now go run a lap."

The trumpet player set his horn down at the side of the block, and proceeded to run a lap. A few people watched, but most of us knew better. The guard director was a ruthless woman, she was precise, and she was rude, but she was good at what she did. After all, the guard didn't become world class in a day. She barked at the members for looking, stating that no one said we could relax. From there she had us march the first half of the figure eight block. After finishing, the trumpet boy had returned to his spot.

"Alright, now do the right half of it. Set!"

The band marched on, the slides always were quite painful on the hips, and legs. I was still terrible at them, after all I'd only marched one year. At the very least I sucked a little bit less than I did last year. It was a mild improvement over tripping backwards. Of course as we were stepping off the first eight, someone just had to miss the directions, and go left which was part of the first half of the figure eight.

"Stop!"

The band stopped moving and looked at her.

"I said second half. We are a team. Go run a lap. And do it together, you are a team."

Almost every person groaned, it was exhausting enough to do basics, and the guard director was not going to show any mercy. The afternoon was terribly hot, we hadn't had water in a long period of time. I wouldn't be surprised if someone fainted fairly soon. The new members had never met the guard director. Our wind director typically kept her away so she wouldn't scare away those who were thinking of joining the band. I had a strong feeling that many of them held a strong dislike for her now. We ran our lap, running back to our spot in the block.

"I said run together. Go run another lap."

This was not surprising, and so we ran another. The entirety of us we're all begging for the wind director to return so we wouldn't have to run, but to no avail. In the end we ran seven laps, or approximately one and three-fourths of a mile. It was pure misery. One of the mellophone players fell to the pavement. A couple others went to grab some water for the poor girl. The others didn't notice, there always was someone who fainted every year. It wasn't that surprising.

"Well goodbye guys! March well, I bet you love me now."

The guard director yelled sarcastically as she strutted away. All of us sighed in relief when she was out of sight. Our director chuckled at us, and gave us a smile. He decided to give us mercy, and allowed us a water break that was a bit longer than usual. I jogged over to the purple water jug that sat with the rest of my sections stuff.

"Hey Esmeralda."

"Hey Anna, Karen really wore us out huh?"

"Yeah I never thought I'd miss H that much."

The two of us chatted for a bit, after all we started on clarinet together in elementary school. Esmeralda was very sweet, and incredibly loud. She almost rivaled me in my ability to ramble, and maintain awkwardness despite how long I've known a person. The girl was as clumsy as I was, both of us were rather talented in that department. I recalled the memory of running into a sign and falling backwards, and the time Esmeralda tripped over the gear prop twice, and H thought she was having a seizure.

The director, Mr. Herring called us back to the field. I sighed, knowing that there was only an hour till lunch, though it was likely we'd be late. Mr. Herring was a kind man, who was rather young looking for his age. He could be mistaken for a high schooler. Right now his hair was an untamed brown mess, he hadn't shaved for awhile, and he had dark circles under his eyes. These features couldn't compare to the shine in his brown eyes held. He was excited for this year, and he was strange, but he was brilliant. Our director wrote our music, and our drill. Though he was strict, he loved teaching us, and I knew he cared about us. Unfortunately his sense of time was also very poor, and caused a large amount of dislike aimed towards him.

"Alright guys, nice work so far. Let's finish basics, and then it's lunch time!"

The band cheered at this notion, and walked out to the field.

"Let's do the forty five part of the figure eight. Set!"

Arms flew into position, and we prepared for the new part of the box drill. It was misery trying to march at a forty five so many times since so many people messed up, so we had to do it again. After an hour we had finally finished basics. The sun was bearing down on us, and the temperature had risen significantly since the morning. It was unusual for us to finish on time, though it might have been due to the fact that it was the first day of band camp. A breath was released that I didn't know I was holding, as I jogged off the parking lot to grab my things. _Drill book, dot book, clarinet, water. Got it, _I thought to myself.

Esmeralda, Jasmine, and Tiana all walked down with me to grab our lunches in the band room. The four of us were all clarinet players that started in eighth grade. The year 2013 had been our second year of marching. None of us were close outside of band, but in band we tended to stick together. Last year we ate lunch together being some of the only eighth graders, along with a mellophone player named Snow White. When we arrived at the dark hall, we found that the pit was already there. This was unusual since H almost always let us out late, but I didn't mind. I spotted my two best friends sitting together, Punzy waved at me happily, and motioning that I join them.

"Hey guys!"

"Hey Anna how's marching?"

"Painful, how are your arms?"

"Like spaghetti."

We both laughed, and I sat down next to them. I saw Belle, and gave her a smile. Hadley was across from me with her sister, Eve. Olaf's older sister was to my left near Belle. I talked with my friends, and laughed over stupid things. Apparently Belle had flung a mallet while warming up, hitting the percussion director in the head. Her face turned a rosy red at the statement, but she admitted to the act.

"Can I braid your hair?"

I looked across at Eve, and shrugged.

"Sure but my hair is kind of sweaty."

"Eh whatever."

The brown haired girl slid across the hall, and forced me to turn ninety degrees as she sat next to Rapunzel. She informed me that she was trying a French braid, in which I nodded until she slapped my arm for moving. The girl had a strong hit, despite her wispy appearance. I figured it wouldn't hurt to have a braid in for drill, and she'd do a decent braid since her own brown hair was meticulously braided. At first I didn't realize it, but I was soon aware of the fact that my face was quite close to Elsa's. _Oops_, I thought to myself, feeling kinda bad that I was in her personal space.

"Uh hi?"

"Hi so how's your day been?"

"Lots of marching, that kinda stuff. And Karen came, and she's so specific. We had to run so many laps. I think we ran twelve laps! That's like three miles, well not exactly since I don't know how long the parking lot is, I mean perimeter. Well you get what I mean. Oh shoot! I'm rambling, I'll just shut up now."

I wanted to go run back and hide in a band locker. The heat on my face was very visible, I was sure. I realized that Eve had finished my hair, and I quickly backed away. After all, I was already awkward enough. Elsa smiled softly,

"Don't worry about it. I don't mind listening."

She told me, taking a bite of sandwich.

"Thanks, so how was pit?"

"It was good, though it's weird since I've never played marimba for marching band."

We continued to talk a bit, enjoying a small break from having to move mallets, or run across a parking lot. The hour was up, and I returned to the band room for an afternoon of music. Dr. Woods was already in the room with a trumpet in hand. The man was tall, with a strong, and proud gait. His chin was held with dignity, and his hazel eyes screamed confidence. His hairline was beginning to recede, leaving a bit of black hair behind that was mixed with grays.

Overall the music was easy to play standing still, but it was difficult to remember dynamics, articulation, and intonation while marching across a field backwards at one hundred eighty beats per minute. All of the music was written, and we were to supposedly memorize it by the end of band camp. As if that was even plausible. The notes may have been easy to play, but they weren't easy to perform. At the time I hadn't been much of a musician, despite this I would move on to make districts as third chair as a sophomore, and then first the rest of my high school career. Besides that, I played the music with my section, until the time came to begin drill.

As usual, drill was a nightmare to teach. The new members were panicking, and unsure about reading their dot sheets. Multiple freshman were scattered at random spots on the field that belonged to no formation. The exasperation in the director's voice was palpable in the air. Older members worked to show the underclassman where their dots were, and when they found them they panicked about how they would get there. The first day was always difficult, but in the end we had managed to learn the majority of the intro, due to its tendency to be short. For the first time, we performed the drill with every caption. The guard, winds, drumline, and pit were all present. It was half an hour past when practice was supposed to end, and parents stood at the front to watch. The new parents held an annoyed look, they weren't accustomed to H's time tendencies.

After performing, I made my way over to my friends. Being in the pit meant they had a ton of equipment to haul back to the building, and I promised to help them so they wouldn't have to make more than one trip. The members of the pit were already scrambling to unplug things, and the electronics section made sure to pack up the mixing board, along with wrapping cords. I grabbed one of the speakers, and began to walk back to the building. Along the way, I found that Elsa was beside me with her marimba. I glanced at the worn instrument, I believe they had nicknamed, "the ghetto."

"Yeah I got stuck with this marimba."

She voiced my thoughts. I looked up, and smiled.

"Ah, the perks of being new to marimba."

"It works, but at lunch all of us were hoping someone would steal it."

I chuckled a bit,

"With all those awesome woodwind instruments nearby? Nah."

"Please, woodwinds versus marimba."

I tugged the large speaker into the building, and placed it in its spot near the door that led to the band room. Elsa pulled it up to the door.

"Do you mind grabbing the door?"

"No prob."

She pulled her instrument into the band room, and thanked me when she walked out. My instrument was resting at the side where I had set it, so I picked it up and began to walk out. This plan was interrupted by Olaf who asked where Elsa just went. I pointed the boy in the right direction, who in return, gave me a hug. Reflex won out, causing me to jerk back a bit in his grasp, but he didn't seem to mind. I always was a bit on the jumpy side. The boy bid me a goodbye, and went after his sister. I returned the gesture, and continued on the way out. Kristoff was waiting in the hummer, grinning when he caught sight of me. A bark sounded, and I noticed that Sven was sitting in the back of the car. I couldn't help but roll my eyes, my best friend didn't go anywhere without his dog. The german shepherd was fond of him, and the two were attached at the hip. Kristoff even talked for the dog.

"Hey Feisty Pants! How was the first day this year?"

"Awesomeness, though I think my legs died."

He laughed,

"I can't say I miss that."

"Please you know you miss me Mr. I-graduated-and-am-too-cool-for-band."

The two of us laughed, and talked. I missed my best guy friend, he had recently graduated from the high school, and was a former band geek. A trombone player to be exact. I knew he'd given the director before H a lot of grief. Mr. Daalman was a short, ill tempered man. He wasn't particularly mean, but his teaching methods were questionable. Kristoff had taken his keys, and hung them on his ceiling. He'd also thrown pencils so they'd get stuck on the roof of Daalman's office. The best one of all was when he, and a friend stole his car keys, and drove Mr. Daalman's car through the percussion garage into the school. Apparently he never found out who did it, considering that Kristoff had graduated from this school.

"So who was the boy hugging you?"

"Oh him? That's Olaf, he's a year younger than me."

Kristoff continued to give me a strange look. I figured I must have sweat on me, or something on my face. My hands swiped at my skin, attempting to get the offending substance off.

"Did I get it?"

"Wait what?"

"Well you were looking at me weird!"

"Oh Anna…"

"What?"

Kristoff just looked ahead, with a small smile on his face.

"Kristoffff!"

No answer.

"Kristofffffffff!"

Eventually I gave in to whacking his arm, resulting in him letting out a yelp. He glared at me, and rubbed the sore spot on his upper arm.

"Hey I'm driving!"

"You never answered."

"Fine. It just seemed like you might like him, you know?"

"What? No! No, no, Kristoff he's like a little brother geez. It's not like I can't talk to guys that are friends. After all I'm friends with you."

"Just wondering."

I scowled at him the whole way home.

* * *

The next day was a twelve hour day, which meant all the more pain and misery. My ankles were throbbing when I went to bed last night, and the time didn't seem to aid with the pain. The morning was slightly cooler than usual, but still warm at seventy eight degrees. Currently we were sitting in a circle stretching. After this we proceeded to our usual schedule with basics, and other stuff. We would do music in the afternoon, and then more drill.

Apparently there was a jazz run that everyone had to do since everyone's dot was too far to march to. This meant that Karen would be returning to teach us this. Everyone groaned at the thought, it was going to be a long hour. It wasn't easy to do, and the exercise was exhausting. Twenty minutes in, while jazz running, I heard a yelp behind me. After we finished the set, I turned to see Olaf sitting while cradling his knee, and sporting a bloody nose.

"Olaf what happened?"

"I'm not sure, I think I landed wrong on the jazz run. Oh and my nose decided to bleed."

The director walked over to examine the boy. I could tell the injury was painful, but the strong look in his obsidian eyes showed that he refused to cry. Another staff member drove a car up. Together, they lifted him into the car to take him to a doctor. I gave a small wave, a morose look had settled on my features. He smiled, and returned the wave.

After that incident everything seemed to go fairly normal. At dinner the parents had gotten Chick-fil-a for us, along with other goodies. The clarinet section sat together for "Section Bonding Time!" As my section leader exclaimed, and dragged me away from Rapunzel, and Mulan. It was difficult to talk to everyone since we were spread out at a rectangle table, and there were twelve of us. Eventually people finished dinner and left to do other things. Everyone returned to their practice places, and soon the first twelve hour day was finished.

The next day I saw Elsa escort Olaf over to the field with his things. He had a wrap around his thigh, and had crutches. I could tell he wouldn't be marching, but would be forced to sit at the side to watch. Elsa set down his stuff, double checking it, and then giving the boy a kiss on the head. To this, he fidgeted and tried to give an angry glare, but failing miserably. I smiled, wishing my brother and I had that kind of relationship. Alek, and I were never very close for a multitude of reasons. One of them being the fact that he left to go to a private high school for his last two years when I went into sixth grade.

Today was shorter, but it was not surprising when we got out late for lunch. After finishing my meal, Eve waved me over. My time was limited, but I acquiesced with the request despite it. Apparently the enthusiastic eighth grader wanted me to listen to the story Elsa was about to tell. After all I did love a good story, and was rather enthusiastic myself. I gave the pit members a grin, and shared a chair with Eve. Elsa began, telling about the weird encounter with the art teacher. I'll admit that I wasn't listening, for I had noticed how nervous the girl looked with the attention of so many people on her. Her icy eyes met mine, and I produced an encouraging half smile. At the end of it, almost everyone at the table had burst into uproarious laughter. Trying to pretend I'd actually taken the time to listen, I laughed along, but in all truth I did not hear Elsa's story. No matter though, I would find out next year on the last Sunday of May.

Band had finished, and I couldn't help but smile to myself as I laid in bed that night. After all, I'd made a new friend. The image of her grateful blue eyes didn't leave. August 21st would soon become a date that would live on my calendar for the rest of my life.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for reading! I am looking for a beta, there are definitely errors. I'd like to eliminate as many as possible, so if any one is interested, feel free to pm me! **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hello readers! Thanks for sticking with me, I know it's moving slow. I promise it'll go somewhere. Sorry if updates are inconsistent, I have band camp for the rest of this week, and next week. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Frozen (yet...)**

* * *

For convenience's sake, I will summarize the events of the next couple events, while elaborating on the important events that occurred. School had begun on August 26, 2013. It was my first year as a freshman, and I was left to scramble around the building, attempting to find my classes. The assembly had been long, boring, and was simply not worth my attention. I was thrilled to see my friends, and many greetings, and hugs were given. My friend, Merida had returned to the states, after going to Scotland as she did every summer. Her parents still lived there, and she stayed with her grandparents when attending school. We bonded over our red hair, and passion for food. Of course I saw Rapunzel, and Mulan. The latter had lunch with me, but Rapunzel did not. She was rather bummed out, after all, none of us had any classes together.

My freshman schedule consisted of Latin I, Algebra II, English, Symphonic band, Lunch, Science, American Studies, and lastly PE that alternated with Career development, and study hall. Luckily, I didn't have to haul all of my textbooks since the majority of classes were not too far apart. Hadley had greeted me that morning with a great amount of enthusiasm. Her blue eyes glittered, but I was unaware of the strong attachment she felt towards her freshman friends. I had not noticed how she would unconsciously grin, or go out of the way to wave to us. Perhaps if I had, I would have been able to prevent the events that came with knowing the girl.

School was dreadfully boring, and I had quickly accustomed to the routine. The Earth & Space Science teacher was completely incompetent at teaching. All she did was read off a powerpoint packet that she handed out to us, and then give us a quiz the next day. I liked the majority of my teachers, but I can't say I had the attention span for school. Not that I wasn't intelligent, but I wasn't top of my class sort of material at the time. Of course if I tried harder I knew I would do better, but with band season there was very limited time to do so. Practice was from six to nine, Tuesday and Thursday, and we always ran late. Football games took Friday nights, and report time was typically around five thirty. Saturdays were always practices from nine to five, or a competition that took all day, or a competition with a practice prior to it. Homework piled on itself, and my sleep schedule had been jarred. Some nights I did not go to sleep until two am.

It turned out that Mulan was not my only lunch buddy. A group of girls that were in the orchestra also had lunch with me. I will admit I don't remember the majority of the girls who sat there, but there was myself, Mulan, and six others on even cycle days. I recall one of the girls who was native american, but their personalities were so similar, that they've blurred in my memories. I do remember that Elsa had lunch with me on day one and five. She had a busy schedule being in Orchestra, and was unable to fit symphonic band in, and was in concert band. Being in four AP classes, her schedule was packed, and she was often busy.

On the first day she joined us for lunch, there were no empty seats. The table was packed that day, with another person joining our table after her visit to Pakistan. There wasn't enough room to add another chair, but I felt bad sending the girl away. Without pondering the idea, I offered to share a chair with her. A small smile gave way, and I scooted over to allow her an adequate amount of space. Considering that she was right next to me, I talked to her. Unlike my first impression, I found it wasn't too awkward to talk to her for a long period of time. Unfortunately, my tendency to ramble, and talk very loudly acted up. I learned that she was a gifted cello player, was also a piano player, loved architecture, and her father was a youth group leader. I found this exciting, since my own father was a minister at our church. I hadn't realized how much time it took, until the bell rang. I bid her a goodbye and moved on, not knowing the foundation that had just been laid down.

* * *

The year had settled, and any qualms I had about high school had settled. I knew how to navigate, and I knew my teachers along with their style. Of course I was still sleep deprived, but I was better off than most of the procrastinators. Hadley, and I had hung out a couple of times during study halls. In fact she invited a couple of us to her house that weekend. The majority of us agreed, excluding Mulan because she had karate that night. She had been taking it since she was four, and was a third level black belt. I figured Rapunzel would be there, or even Elsa who had become a closer friend. She was a bit shy, and sometimes she didn't open up, but I didn't mind. Often times she would just listen to me talk, allowing me to ramble to my heart's content. I begged her to let me hear her play the cello, but she would just shake her head and say,

"Maybe another time."

I would pout, and give her the best puppy dog look I could, allowing my lower lip to jut out, tilt my head slightly, and widen my teal eyes. She would just roll her eyes, and laugh a bit. I told her I'd hold her to it.

When I arrived at Hadley's, Punzy was already there. I spotted her signature purple vans sitting by the door, and I added my converse next to them. Eve gave me a blithely greeting, grinning the entire time. As predicted, Elsa was also there, along with Belle, Esmeralda, and a girl in my grade who I knew was in the electronics section, Larissa I believe. Greetings rang out, and I returned them happily. It was no secret that I was a social person, and enjoyed the company of others. We talked for awhile, but eventually a game of scattergories was pulled out. The eight of us sat in a circle on the floor, we had split into two teams with Belle, Larissa, and Elsa on my team. I gave myself permission to sit on Belle's back, who was laying on her stomach. Both of us watched as Elsa began to write down the words. We whispered suggestions, and in the end we played three rounds. The last one, we lost, resulting in the end of our win streak. Nonetheless, we won the game, and cheered happily. I got off of Belle, who gave me a mock glare, but high fived me anyways. The others joined in, and I was put in charge of throwing away the paper.

As I scanned it, I noticed in the last category that the word seagull was spelled incorrectly. It was spelled as S-E-A-G-L-E. A chuckle escaped my lips, and I walked up to Elsa. Knowing it would embarrass her if I told everyone, I tugged her shoulder until she was level with my mouth, and whispered,

"I don't think that's how seagull is spelled."

Her blue eyes scanned the paper, and widened at the error. A tint of red took her cheeks, and she looked more flustered than she should. Elsa Arendelle was not accustomed to making spelling errors, being the top of her class. She smiled at me, and both of us burst out laughing. The rest of the group looked at us, but we just waved it off. I folded the piece of paper, and stuck it in her pocket. She glanced at me curiously.

"We were laughing, and they would grab it as soon as I threw it away to find out. Wouldn't want that."

I teased, and she nodded, the red returning to her alabaster cheeks. Her complexion did not allow her to hide her embarrassment well. Elsa tucked the paper deeper in her pocket, and the two of us joined the next activity

* * *

It was Incredibly hot that day, the weather seemed undeterred by the fact that it was October. Fall should be settling in, but the sun refused to yield. It was our sixth football game, but it was the first time we would perform our entire show. Nerves began to flutter in my gut, it was only my second year. I knew I might mess up, or God forbid, trip again. I was jumping around on the platforms of my neon green, and blue nikes. The nerves must have been showing outwardly, a poke on my shoulder caused me to trip backwards onto the grass. Groaning, I looked up and met a pair of blue orbs.

"A bit jumpy huh?"

She smiled, and grabbed my hand to pull me up. I thanked her, a bit disconcerted about showing my clumsy side.

"Ready for a football game?"

"Yeah, I think so, but I'm a bit nervous doing the whole show, I mean really what if I trip? Last year I tripped, and it was awful. I think one of the kids in the other band laughed at me, and all the seniors kept teasing me. Then I'll have an awful dirt stain on my butt the entire football game. Oh gosh! They don't wash those every time then I'll have dirt on my butt for who knows how long! What am I going to do?"

"Don't worry Anna, you won't trip. You'll be fine."

"Thanks Elsa, good luck on marimba. I know set up is hard."

"Yeah, I am slightly worried, I might mess up the cords."

"You'll get it, Hadley always double checks stuff."

"Good point, do you want to sit with me on the bus?"

"Yeah sure! Sorry, didn't mean to hurt your ears, I was just looking for a bus buddy."

"Don't worry about, I'll see you in a bit."

"Oh yeah uniforms! See ya later Elsa!"

I ran into the building after grabbing my things. _Instrument? Check. Black Shirt? Check_

_Black socks? Yep. Dinkles? Yeppers! _I walked over to the uniform closet, and joined the line of other members waiting to get their uniforms. Larissa was in front of me, and turned to greet me.

"Such Anna, much Summers!"

"Ughhh no, anything but that meme."

"Very apology, so whatever."

"Meanie."

I stuck my tongue out, and she returned the gesture. We both burst out laughing, and chatted until we got to the front of the line. My shako and uniform number was sixteen, which was four times the size I had last year. It was most likely due to the amount of eighth graders that joined this year. We definitely didn't need them, but H pursued so many, and now there were far too many. Some were ready, but the rest were like me my first year; definitely not ready. Most of the eighth graders were short, scrawny, and far below the skill of the seniors. There was no connection between them, and the age gap seemed to loom.

All of us shuffled around the band room in our pants which were really oversized, hideous overalls. Our jackets, and cummerbunds were to stay on the clothes hangers. The upperclassmen boarded the buses first, Elsa passing by and saying she'd save us a seat somewhere decent. I thanked her, and waited for my turn to board. When the time came, I double checked to make sure I had everything before boarding the bus. The chaperones checked my name off, and my teal eyes scanned the seats until it reached a shock of platinum blonde hair. She took the remainder of my uniform, and hung it on the window by hers. I smiled, and placed my shako box under the seat. Being in the pit, she didn't have one, instead a ribbon in our school's colors was wrapped around the end of her braid.

"Hey."

"Hello, I'm so tired."

"Hmmm well it is an hour bus ride, you can sleep."

"Okay."

I shuffled around in my seat, and settled on resting my head on the seat in front of us. I was exhausted, the previous night I had stayed up late studying for a dreaded test from my science teacher. Even Mulan, who was ranked first in our class, got a C on the last test we took. I made flashcards on quizlet, and went over everything I could think of. If I was being completely candid, I would admit that the test wasn't that difficult, but I had psyched myself up with worry. Right now I was paying the price. A large bump while driving caused my head to jerk up. Eventually I settled on leaning on my shoulder towards the window. I felt sort of bad for not talking to Elsa, but I knew she understood. Slowly, sleep crept in, and before I fell into its arms, I was aware of my head leaning on her shoulder.

"Anna. Anna wake up. Come on sleepy head."

"Nurritnew"

I muttered something unintelligible.

"We're almost there, come on."

I felt a hand on my shoulder, jarring me from sleep. Unfortunately for Elsa, I was stubborn, and continued to fall back into sleep. She was persistent, and pulled one last trick out. Her hand reached out, and jabbed the flesh between my ribs, and hip bone. My reaction was instantaneous, and I tumbled to the floor of the bus. A large groan escaped my throat, and I glowered at the girl laughing above me.

"Come on, get your stuff on."

She replied throwing my jacket at me.

* * *

The football game had gone well, and we'd taken the field at half-time. I knew some of the people who had known the two members that died were touched by the show, and smiled at the parts that incorporated one of the deceased member's solos. I had not tripped, and marched a decent show. My steps were too small at set twenty eight of the opener, and I wasn't in the dress during the block. I nearly missed my step off from a rest, but those were the only major things I could remember. It wasn't perfect, no, I didn't really believe in perfection, but it was good. We danced in the stands, and I loved every minute of it. Esmeralda, Jasmine, and I rocked dancing the cadence along with the cheerleaders. We yelled loudly, and did the cheers. I had no clue what was going on in the football game, but we cheered anyways, even though we knew we would lose.

At the end of the game H gathered us to remind us about the home competition tomorrow. We wouldn't be competing, but it was one of the main ways we made money that funded our band. Unfortunately, we would have to clean up, but if a section got the concession stand, they were home free to eat what they'd like. Of course there was a hospitality tent that we ravaged afterwards too.

"Uniforms! Please remove jackets, gauntlets, gloves, and cummerbunds!"

I sighed, there was much to carry, and I had too few arms. Instruments were packed up, and loaded, and kids had begun to board the buses. I was one of the last on, and made my way quickly to my seat. The rush of the evening began to fade, and the lack of sleep started to ache in my mind. I hadn't noticed the weariness in my limbs, until I sat down, and collapsed into a pile of jelly. A hand reached out, and put my uniform on the window. I mumbled a thank you.

"You look a bit tired."

"So tired, sleep yay."

Elsa snickered a bit behind her hand, as she always did. The platinum blonde smiled at me, I was already collapsed in the seat. Normally I'd be flustered, but I was much too tired to actually care. I shifted in the hard bus seat, and began to drift off. As I was about to fall asleep, I felt an ache and adjusted to fix it. Of course I neglected to notice that this would cause me to fall off the seat for the second time today. I groaned loudly when I hit the floor.

"Here, lean on my shoulder. Maybe you'll stop falling off the seat."

I nodded, and sat down, propping my head against her shoulder. Slowly, the cacophony of voices drowned out, and sleep took me in his arms. The two of us left, and a platinum blonde girl was left to anchor me down.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hello! So guess who finished two long weeks of band? Me, that's right. It was only 88.5 hours. I appreciate you sticking with me. As always constructive critique or feedback is awesome, enjoy reading!**

* * *

It was one of the last major competitions before Metlife, this one took place in Towson. Everyone had been ecstatic to perform, and the parents stating that they knew we'd do well. This was not true, one of the worst forms of disaster occurred that day, but it was not something that was easily predicted. Therefore we were all hoping to do well, and to move on to the finals. It was one of our first BOA competitions, though I didn't like BOA. Most of the bands were large, so the drill was easy, and had money to buy ridiculous props. For example a giant spinning, light up globe.

I sat with my friend, Merida on the way up to Towson. I hadn't seen her in awhile since we didn't have any classes together this year. She updated me on the events of Scotland. Apparently there have been multiple reports of bears, which she was rather fond of. Her brothers were causing mischief as always, and had picked up the skill of pick pocketing. Their mom was none too pleased with this. Her mother always wanted Merida to act more "feminine" but it wasn't in her nature. They had argued, but something must have happened this summer that helped. I couldn't help but notice there was less hostility when she mentioned her mother.

"So how's yer mum doin'?"

"Oh, she's good. Still working as a physical therapist."

"A good job it is, my mother says she woulda done it, but chose to be a nurse instead."

"Yeah, it is."

"Ya don't speak of yer family much, tell me about 'em. We got plenty a time."

"Oh, err well…"

I paused, trying to think of appropriate things about my family. We weren't the closest.

"My brother is in college, UPenn to be exact. My mother is just my mother. You know, she cooks, and works. My dad is a minister, and runs a business."

"I didn't know ya had a brother."

"Yeah, he hasn't really lived with us since I went into middle school."

"Why not?"

"He went to a prep school."

"Oh a prep boy huh?"

"Yeah, so how was the weather in Scotland. It was off the charts here!"

Merida hadn't seemed to notice how quickly I had worked to change the subject. A breath I was holding released itself, and I listened to her talk about the temperate climate of her homeland. I was being unusually quiet, and I was well aware, but I wasn't into talking right now. Besides, Merida had plenty to say which I appreciated at the moment. The hours passed by, and we arrived at the practice spot.

"See ya later Anna! Good luck!"

She ran off to the baritone section, to begin warming up. I made my way over to the clarinets, joining Jasmine, and Esmeralda to unpack my instrument. The three of us chatted a bit, but we were all nervous to perform. It was the first time we had to compete to make it to finals. USbands didn't do it this way, and TOB didn't either. Luckily we weren't doing any TOB, the league was far too easy. We had won Atlantic Coast Championships far too many times, and had enough flags that H used them to clean up spills.

I could hear the sound of the drumline warming up in the distance. The sharp snap of the snare hit my ears, and the summertime rang out from the pit. The winds began to gather into an arc, and Dr. Woods joined us with his trumpet. Everyone was warming up now, and prepping for the time. Too soon, it was time to perform. The band moved toward the field, straight towards disaster.

The wind was strong, but not enough to push any props over. The start of the show went well, and we performed like we knew how. Then came the sheet prop. The sheet prop covered the entire band across the field, and was carried by helpers that weren't in band called runners. Unfortunately for them, the wind was pushing in the wrong direction, causing the giant sheet to collide with the band. Some marched on, it was almost the impact of the closer. Instead we couldn't get out, but eventually the sheet was lifted, and there was limited time to make the next set. If we missed it, the whole rest of the show was done for. Even worse, the pit didn't know what was happening, and couldn't aid with it. The only sign anything was wrong was the lack of music being played by the winds.

* * *

It was not a surprise to anyone that we hadn't made it to finals. Now we would be forced to sit in the stands for the remainder of the competition. Of course it was disappointing, but we did finish the rest of our show in time. The hostility towards the runners spiked, but it truly wasn't their fault that the wind was blowing that direction. I felt bad for them. Towson was not a competition our school wished to remember. At the very least we had time to wander around, and eat food. I immediately found Elsa, who had become a very close friend of mine. I wasn't quite sure why, but I trusted her. I'd only known her for about five months, but she was sweet, and she knew how to listen. That was not a skill I had, and we were quite different. We had lunch together on some days, and we were now bus buddies since Mulan, and Rapunzel always sat together.

Belle usually would join us, and I didn't mind. Belle was incredibly sweet, and she always had a book in hand. Of course Hadley was there too, in her own awkward, quiet way. Belle was with the upperclassmen today, and Rapunzel, and Mulan had already run off to who knows where. Hadley was with me, and Elsa. As we walked around we laughed at the band knick knacks, which included a swag hat. Go figure.

"I'm starving! Look at all the food!"

I ran around like a child, but there was just so much delectable items for me to resist. There were fries, burgers, hot dogs, all kinds of candy bars.

"Look! Wait… I smell something-"

"Chocolate!"

Elsa, and I exclaimed at the same time.

"Jinx!"

She stuck her tongue out at me, and we both laughed. I laughed loudly, throwing my head back, with a few snorts in between, while she did the cute little thing where she laughed quietly behind her hand. Hadley looked at us strangely, as if we were both crazy. She looked unamused at our childish antics.

"We're getting chocolate. Come on!"

I dragged both of them over to the stand where most of the chocolates were. There was a short line, but eventually we picked some, and went to sit down. A figure approached which I soon recognized as Jack Frost. He was a junior, like Elsa, and played the saxophone. He was nice, and got thrown into my Algebra II class since he already took AP Calculus II. Jack was definitely a computer geek, and talked almost as much as I did.

"Hey guys. Chocolate?"

"Mine!"

"Whoa there, I got it Anna."

He chuckled, but still managed to steal a square of my candy. I growled at him, and held the rest of it like it was my child.

"Hey Elsa, how are you?"

Jack asked, and slid into the seat between the two of us. I wanted to glare at him for almost making me drop my chocolate.

"I'm good, you?"

"Good now that I get to see you."

I rolled my eyes at the cheesy comment. As if Elsa was that easy to make swoon.

"Thank you."

"Black looks flattering in you."

The two continued to talk, and I wanted to roll my eyes again. Did Jack really think some kind comments would make her like him? I mean really, she has standards. I didn't like the feeling I was getting. I hated it, I felt a bit jealous. After all, I'd never really talked to a lot of guys, and here Elsa was getting a bunch of attention. The guilt gnawed at me, I didn't want to be jealous of one of my best friends. She deserved to be happy.

Eve joined us soon, she turned to me and whispered,

"Wouldn't they make a cute couple?"

"Yeah sure."

Once Elsa stood up to throw her trash away, Eve mentioned her previous thoughts to Jack and even adding,

"I approve of you two! You guys are so cute!"

"Wait what?"

Jack asked,

"Speak slower please."

"You like her!"

"Maybe. Wait why am I telling a middle schooler this?"

He groaned, and smacked his palm to his forehead. Eve laughed, and smiled at him. We both watched as Jack's eyes followed Elsa back to the table. We all had to move into the seats to watch the finals. H was making us stay, which meant we wouldn't get home until one or two in the morning. Jack stayed with us, much to my dismay. He sat next to her, right in between us. Hadley was squished up against me, with Eve at her side. Hadley, and I chatted, and I tried to ignore the jealousy I felt that Elsa was getting so much attention. I enjoyed talking to her, and we even debated chocolate against vanilla. She smiled happily at me. Eventually she became tired, and fell asleep on my shoulder. I smiled, I was glad Hadley was coming out of her shell. She'd changed a bit since I met her as a socially awkward freshman.

* * *

I still felt guilty for being jealous of Elsa, she was my friend, and I wanted to be happy for her. As I sat in my room, I continued to analyze the situation. Why was I jealous of Elsa? The more I thought, the more I noticed that I wasn't jealous of Elsa. Her hair was gorgeous, her skin was a stunning alabaster, and her eyes were the most beautiful hue of blue I'd seen. Thinking of these features didn't make my jealousy flare. Maybe I was jealous of the attention she was getting, and how guys noticed her. I had never dated anyone, and no guys were really interested in me. Guys certainly noticed Elsa, I noticed this wherever we went. She seemed to draw attention without trying to.

When I thought of this, the more I realized that this didn't make any sense. I didn't really want to date anyone right now, and I hadn't been trying to meet anyone. So what in the world was it? I sat down, placing my fingers on my temples. It had been three days, and I still didn't know what exactly I was feeling. Was I jealous that Jack was talking to Elsa? I recalled the sickening feeling when he slid in the seat right between us, and how I wasn't nearly as enthused as Eve was with the idea of them dating. It couldn't be. I was straight, being… being _like that _was a sin. It had to be some sort of lust thing about the forbidden. My father had preached on it in church. He said it was like alcoholism. It may run in the blood, but it wasn't good for you. Even if it was hard, it was a choice.

No I couldn't like her. That wasn't an option, I had to fix myself. Clearly I needed to find a nice boy, and then I'd realize I was just being rebellious. It was disgusting, how could I have let myself fall into this trap? Up until now, I had never questioned my sexuality. I'd had several crushes on boys, and I knew that liking someone of the same gender was wrong. I needed help, I needed to fix this. Who would I tell though? My father would hate me if he found out, he would be so ashamed. Mother would surely tell father, and she would be heartbroken. They would think they failed, but I'm the one that failed. What the hell is wrong with me?

My fingernails were digging into the sides of my head, I fell forward. Everything felt wrong, everything was so mixed up. I wasn't even sure of who I was anymore. I shut my eyes, squeezing them tight, but it didn't stop the tears. I had failed, I had failed God. I let myself fall into this sin, and I was so filthy. _God please, I know you're listening. Please fix me, I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I've failed you. I can't do this alone. Please help me fix me._ I begged him, I repeated it over and over. The darkness had settled in, and I failed to notice. I fell asleep, and for the first time, I felt completely alone.

* * *

It felt strange returning to school. I decided to stick with the game plan, which was to find a boy I liked, and hope he likes me too. Then we would date, and it would all be okay. Surely I would find a nice boy, the right one, and I'd realize what a ridiculous phase I went through. To my dismay, I didn't see anyone all day. By sixth period I had given up. I walked into American Studies with my books, ready to be bored. Instead, the teacher announced that we had a new seating chart. Luckily, I was in the back of the room, but my partner was a boy I had never seen before.

His hair was a pleasant auburn, and his eyes were a sweet shade of green. He smiled at me, and bent down to pull his stuff from his backpack. The auburn haired boy had on a soccer jacket, and a pair of jeans that tucked into his moccasins. After finishing, he sat up, and turned towards me. He had a gorgeous smile.

"Hi, my name is Hans Westerguard."

"Hi, my name is Anna Summers. Nice to meet you!"

This was it. He was the one, he was the perfect boy. Hans raised his hand often with correct answers, and took diligent notes. His handwriting was neat, and small. He was handsome, he was smart, he was the one. We worked together on a primary source from the industrial revolution, we worked well together. The other groups hadn't finished, so the two of us chatted. Hans had moved here from Norway, and had a slight accent that was completely adorable. He asked me about my life, and I told him. Hans also played the flute, which was awesome since most guys wouldn't admit it. He was also very funny, and caused me to laugh several times. At the end of class, he held the door open for me, and offered to walk me to my next class. Looks like the plan is working.

It wasn't easy, but I talked to Hans often. I didn't want to see Elsa, so at lunch I ate in the band room. Sometimes Hans would join me. I felt bad for pushing her away, but I needed space to get rid of these impure feelings. I couldn't break off our friendship, I would hate myself forever if I hurt her that badly. It's not like I could explain to her why I didn't want to be friends with her. None of my friends could know, they would never accept me. Rapunzel was highly religious. Every time homosexuality was in the news, she would make a face, and so did Mulan. In this small town, most were conservative. Being like that wasn't ok. I just had to fix it myself.

When I got home that night, I searched different things about being gay and Christian. Instead of the results I wanted, showed up. My curiosity took me, and I opened it. I was surprised to see a Christian who called himself gay. I read through it, and questions nagged at my mind. Surely he was wrong, he just wanted to justify it. I read the other story, the one about a man who found out he was gay, but after searching through the bible, found it was a sin. The thoughts swirled in my head, I wasn't even sure what to think. I needed outside help, I just didn't know enough.

As lame as it sounds, I went online to a stupid chat therapy. Immediately someone was there. I told them. I told them about my feelings, and asked for help. The person didn't respond immediately, but told me it wasn't a choice. They asked if a straight person chooses to be straight, and if it is, why not choose to be gay to show a point. I'd never thought about it that way. I thanked them and logged off. I started to wonder how God could say being gay was a sin. How was loving someone for their soul wrong? Why should I love someone for their parts? In a way, I started to believe it might be ok. After all, didn't God want us to love people for their souls? Surely he wouldn't judge a person who fell in love with a persons soul. In a way I wasn't sure. Any of the following things used to justify being gay could be used for justifying incest, or bestiality. Well, maybe not completely, I still didn't know enough. I still liked boys, but I noticed that I liked some girls too. I just never knew what to call it. In eighth grade, I sorta had a small crush on Rapunzel, but I didn't anymore. Still, my beliefs had me refute it, I would stick with the game plan. I had Hans now. It was too late though, the seed was planted.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hello lovely readers, sorry for the delay band and school make a busy life for me. **

* * *

Elsa and I remained friends as time moved on. We sat together on the way to Metlife. It had been hard to resist my feelings, and it was still a struggle. Hans was sweet, and we had gone to homecoming together. He came in with flowers, and chocolate asking me to be his date. I agreed, and it was fun, even if there were lots of drunk people. We danced, and during the slow dance he tried to kiss me. I freaked out, and had turned slightly so it hit my cheek. After that it was awkward, but I knew I didn't like him. Still, when he asked me out, I agreed. I recall the night.

"_Can I say something crazy?"_

"_I love crazy!"_

"_Will you go out with me?"_

"_Can I say something crazier? Yes!"_

Hans was a gentleman, he carried my stuff for me, and escorted me to class. He even held doors for other people, and was very sweet. When I went to the band room, he'd join me, and sometimes we'd play music together in a duet. We spent as much time as we could together with our busy schedules. Hans played soccer, and he pouted when he said he wouldn't be able to join marching band. Despite his easygoing nature, he wanted to make his parents proud. It was hard to shine being the youngest of thirteen.

On the way to Metlife, I accidently fell asleep on her shoulder. We ended up in a cuddly sort of position that made my face glow red. After waking up, we realized we had this, but got over it quickly. It was too long of a bus ride to sit in awkward silence. The two of us talked happily about everything.

"Olaf and I loved the snow, we would always go out to build a pair of snow parents when we missed our real parents."

"Where were your parents? Not that you have to say! I was just curious. Sorry, I'm probably hurting your eardrums. Sorry."

"Both of them were in the military, but they had us stay behind with our aunt and uncle so we wouldn't have to move multiple times."

"Oh that must have been rough. Not that I would know, my parents have always been around. My father is our church's minister, and my mother is a pt."

"PT?"

"Physical Therapist, you know the stretches, and learning how to walk after surgery. That kinda stuff. It's mostly the elderly."

"That's pretty awesome. It's kind of her to want to work to help people. Do you have any siblings?"

"Oh, um… yeah. I have a brother. He doesn't live with us though. He's six years older than me, and he's a wrestler so he left when I went into middle school to go to a prep school. We weren't really close when I was a kid, but we were a little bit before I turned eight. Once he got me stuck in a storm drain though."

"He what?"

"Well we were exploring, and I was small enough to fit. I couldn't get out, but the storm drain leads to the creek. It was the discovery of the day."

"Olaf, and I were both goody two shoes."

"Please you had to have done something Ms. Perfect."

"Once I knocked a picture over, and when my parents asked I told them it was gravity. They thought it was so cute, they just let it go."

"Oh come on! That's the worst thing? Once Kristoff, and I were arguing, and I shoved him so hard his butt went through the wall."

Elsa burst out laughing, I'd never seen her laugh like this. Her head was thrown back, mussing up pieces of her platinum blonde bangs. She didn't even cover up her mouth this time. I was mesmerized by her, the sparkle in her eye was captivating.

"Anna? Anna? Hello?"

"Oh sorry!"

"So are you and Kristoff together?"

"What! Me and Kristoff? No, no, and no. He's like four years older than me, he's like another brother. Besides, I'm dating Hans Westerguard."

_Oh gosh, what if she likes Kristoff_, I thought to myself. I shook my head, she'd never even met him.

"Oh, how long have you two known each other?"

"Hans or Kristoff?"

"I meant Kristoff, but why not both."

"Well Kristoff Bjorgman is pretty much my best guy friend. He's been my neighbor forever. I met him when he moved here when I was three. Oh you should've seen him when we were little, his cheeks were so chubby and red! He had this little stuffed reindeer, Sven, which his dog is named after, and he would take it everywhere! We used to go around stealing chocolates from the jars, and getting all muddy. Bulda, and Pabbie treated me like their own. And he has four younger siblings! They're like a bunch more brothers, and sisters."

"Wow, he seemed nice when I met him."

I gave her a confused look.

"He was a junior when I was a freshman."

"Oh, that's awesome!"

"He is, and so are you. So how did you meet Hans?"

"Oh, Hans? He was my American Studies partner, and he was so sweet, and kind. We worked together, and started hanging out. Then we went to homecoming together, and he asked me to be his girlfriend, so I said yes of course."

"Oh. That's sweet of him. He seems like a nice guy."

The two of us talked for awhile, she seemed to give no reaction to the news of Hans and I. It was selfish of me to want her to react. She was clearly not interested in women, and it wasn't fair for me to want a reaction. Even if she did like me, she wouldn't act on it if I was dating someone. Not that it was even a plausible situation. It had been months, and I knew I liked her too much. I liked her more than a friend would, but she didn't like me that way. I was just her freshman friend, a girl that was two years younger than her. Elsa meant so much to me, but I meant so little to her. She had other friends, and a best friend, but I was just her freshman marching band bus buddy. Sure, one could tell I was a good friend. She still shared a chair with me, and would catch me by the waist whenever I almost toppled from the bus seat. I hoped so much that it meant something, but I'd seen her do the same things with other friends.

Hans and I had been dating for a couple of weeks, he was the best boyfriend I could've asked for. I did like him, and if I didn't know Elsa I think I might've fallen for him. It's not like I didn't find him attractive, I just ended up comparing him to Elsa. It wasn't fair to either of them, but I was still hoping that dating Hans would fix me. In a way, I started to believe that maybe it wasn't so wrong to like girls. This was mostly influenced by following Have a Gay Day on tumblr (which none of my friends knew about). I didn't like to say the word, lesbian. It felt ugly, and wrong on my tongue. I didn't want to be one, I didn't want to be like this. I didn't choose this. I wanted to fall in love with Hans, he was everything I ever dreamed of. But he wasn't the one I wanted to be with. I knew this, but I was too hellbent on changing who I was. This would cause me much grief.

~line break~

At Metlife we performed well, the best we had all year. The sheet prop worked perfectly, and I could see H looking on proudly from the stands. It was warm enough so everyone's lights on their shakos worked, and turned on in the closer in unison. The beams of lights shone from the shako, bringing out the light side of the show. I could see Jesse, and Ethan sitting on the back prop, watching the show that was inspired by their deaths. At the end the majority of members had tears running down their faces, the memories were no longer haunting them, but guiding them towards a better future. I sobbed, knowing our seniors were leaving, and missing Jesse and Ethan. Punzy found me, and broke down. The two of us held each other, Mulan joining us. Both of them knew how badly it hurt to find out Jesse, and Ethan died. Ethan was a childhood friend. He died in the practice room at school, some issue with his heart. It was devastating, but I knew he wanted me to live.

The band shuffled around, taking pictures, and comforting the seniors. It was the last competition of the season, and it was the last time I would ever see my section leader, and the drum major who had been one my first year. Erika gave me a huge hug,

"Good job this year, you're a hard worker, and you'll go somewhere. Don't lose you."

She gave me one last hug, before Arianna came over and hugged me,

"You're an amazing person Anna. Remember what matters, life is for living."

I nodded, watching as she went back to join her best friend.

The bus ride was long, and the tears had brought exhaustion to me. I was out of tears, but at the sight of Elsa, I broke a little inside. Her eyes were the same shade of blue as Ethan's. It was ironic, I must have a thing for blue eyes. The memories of my old best friend flooded my head. I'd met him before Kristoff, his younger brother by a year, and hated him at first. I thought he was rude, and dumb. Eventually, we became friends. He lived close so we sat together on the school bus. We both adored pokemon, and would play against each other on the bus. There was a pikachu that we would share, trading it back and forth weekly. I still had it, the stuffed toy was laying on my shelf.

Soon, I came to my senses, and realized that Elsa had been holding me in her arms. The worry in her blue eyes was endearing, and put a bit of warmth in me. I gave her a weak smile, hoping to look not like an overly emotional female with that time of the month problems. This failed, due to the despondent look on my freckled face, but she pulled me in closer to comfort me. I breathed in the wonderful aroma of mint, and fresh pine that seemed to linger on her. Her platinum blonde locks were gentle on my cheek. I felt the soothing motion of circles on my back, traced by her slender hands. Eventually I fell asleep, and so did she.

The lights on the bus flickered on, and a chaperone yelled that it would be ten minutes till we got back. Light burned my eyelids, and I groaned. For the first time, I seemed to notice that I was cuddled into Elsa. Her head was resting on my rainbow bear pillowpet, her blonde hair splayed like a halo around her. The stress lines on her face had faded, leaving her looking completely adorable. I smiled at the image, and tried to pull away. Her arms were vices, and I resorted to turning and blowing air into her face. Her features scrunched into an adorable face, and I couldn't stop the giggles that escaped. My shaking must have woken her up, and we soon realized how close together we were. I blushed a bright red, and turned to pick up my things, and hope it would fade soon.

Everyone got off the buses, instruments were put away, and uniforms were folded, awaiting their new owner next season. The sky was still dark, only the stars were dancing with a lone cloud that drifted by a waxing gibbous moon. Metlife became a memory that would live forever in my mind.

~line break~

The events of the following year occurred, beginning with another conversation. The school year continued on, and Rapunzel was once again pestering me about indoor percussion. I didn't plan on doing it, band season was bad enough. Plus, I didn't play a percussion instrument, and was the main point I rested on. My blonde companion would roll her eyes, stating that the cymbals were only so difficult. That statement gained her a glare, and a slap to the arm by one of the cymbal players. This left Rapunzel grumbling, but she remained persistent. Even Mulan had tried to convince me, stating that it wasn't like band, but unlike band, once I signed up, I was committed. On the day I continued digging my grave, it had rather pleasant. Though the air was bitter, there were light coats of snow around, which I absolutely adored.

Rapunzel approached my locker, with me unknowing of what was about to happen. Nothing was out of place, Mulan, Rapunzel, and I always walked out of school together. Hadley had recently joined us too. The four of us walked together, complaining about school work, and other stuff. That's when she used her cards.

"Yeah, there might not be enough cymbals this year."

"Mr. Saller was thinking of not doing it this season."

"It'd be awful, we all really love indoor."

I groaned at the three of them. They couldn't be more obvious.

"No, nice try."

"They just need two more."

"I'd be really upset if it got canceled."

"No guys, I really don't want to have that kind of time commitment."

"Don't worry, we have less competitions. Plus Mr. Saller always lets us out on time."

"Yeah but I really need a break from marching."

"You won't be going nearly as far as outdoor. After all, it's on a floor."

"I know but it's expensive."

"Do you really think your parents can't afford it?"

I was out of arguments, it was true, my parents could afford it. I didn't want to tell them that my parents didn't really like how involved I was in music. They didn't care that much, but they were afraid it was too much, and I'd abandon my path to becoming a lawyer. That's not what my ambitions were, but my parents didn't care. How could I tell my friends this? _Yeah, I 'd love to, but my seemingly nice parents don't support me, and already hate driving me everywhere. _They would never believe me. My mom was at every competition. She was the picture of the perfect band mom.

"Alright. Fine, I'll ask my mother, and father."

All three of my idiots whooped, and Hadley grabbed a piece of paper from her backpack. She jammed it into my fingers, and they all chattered excitedly. A tap on my shoulder caused my body to jerk a little bit.

"Whoa there, sorry. What are they excited about?"

Hans smiled at me, and laced our fingers together. People did this all the time, as if to show off how not single they were. All it was, was an inconvenience to those trying to walk quickly through the halls.

"Oh, them? I agreed to think about doing indoor."

"More band?" He pouted.

"I know, I know, but it won't be quite as bad."

"I hope so, I miss seeing you."

He gave me a soft smile, and placed a chaste kiss on my cheek. The sound of giggles jarred me from wondering where the happy feelings about Hans were. Rapunzel was giggling at us, and Mulan looked disgusted, and groaned PDA. I couldn't quite read Hadley, but she seemed grossed out, but better at hiding it than Mulan. Hans couldn't resist the bait, and kissed me straight on the lips. It wasn't the first time. The first time took place about a week after homecoming. Being a cheesy person, Hans and I went to a movie. I chose an action, superhero movie 'cause those were the best. He even did the classic, yawn, and arm around her shoulder thing. At some point, he leaned down, and kissed me. My eyes widened in surprise, and I was slightly grossed out with the spit thing. I figured I would become accustomed to it at some point.

Mulan whacked Hans on the arm, telling him to quit the PDA before she punched him. Rapunzel rolled her eyes at Mulan, and Hadley still looked slightly grossed out, but didn't comment. The five of us made our way out the building. Hans and I stopped by the band room so I could get my saxophone for jazz band, and so he could grab his flute to practice. Being the gentlemen as always, he offered to walk me out to Belle's car while carrying the saxophone. Belle lived fairly close to me, and she offered to drive me to, and from school.

"Bye, I'll see you in American Studies."

Hans said, giving me another kiss. He handed me my instrument, which I stuck in the back and sat down.

"Awww is that your boyfriend, Anna?"

"Yeah that's Hans."

"So cute, you little freshman dating and stuff."

"Oh shush."

"How long have you two been dating?"

"Since homecoming, he asked me out afterwards."

"He seems like a sweet guy, his older brother is a jerk though."

"He has an older brother in school here?"

"Yeah, Anders Westerguard, he's in my grade. Huge douche around his friends, but not terrible alone."

"Well don't worry, Hans isn't like that at all. He's pretty much the nicest guy I know. You dating anyone?"

"Nah, I dated Adam for awhile, but we weren't really working."

"Oh well, it's just high school."

The two of us talked until we reached my house. I hopped out and shut the door. I thanked her through the window.

"No problem Anna. See you tomorrow at 7:15?"

"Yep!"

"Okay, just remember, even if he's perfect you don't have to date him."

"Wait, what?"

Belle just smiled, and rolled the windows up, driving up the hill and out of sight.

~line break~

By the time indoor rolled around, I had decided to pursue it. It took some persuading, but my mother caved knowing that it would help me not fall back into the habit of procrastinating if I was occupied. It had taken years to get rid of that habit. Plus Belle would drive me to indoor stuff, allowing my mother to waste less time driving me places. The fear of not enough cymbal players, proved to be false. Instead there were too many. There were eight who signed up, and all of us were new. I was fairly excited, and I had my new pair of gloves to play cymbals. Elena, who was the only experienced cymbal player wasn't able to march due to stress fractures on her legs. Or so we thought.

While I was standing talking to Arianna, Elena approached me. I gave her a small smile, wondering if she was gonna be rude again. After finding out I was going to do cymbals, she pestered me, insisting I was too weak. She was working on ways to discourage me from doing cymbal line, but I wouldn't let her hold me back. I probably should have. It would've been better. Instead of being a female dog, she asked me a question I never expected to hear.

"Do you wanna switch spots and be in the pit?"

I froze. I was not expecting this, and I didn't want to be in pit. If I said no, she would likely be incredibly mean to me. And it was her last year, I had three more if I wanted to. Plus Mulan, Belle, Rapunzel, and Hadley were there.

"Well, it is your senior year, I have three more so sure."

She gave me the first smile I'd ever seen directed towards me that wasn't filled with malevolence.

"Thank you, just talk to Saller."

She walked away. I looked over at Arianna, a sad look plastered itself on her face.

"That was nice of you, it really was."

"It was nothing, I'm sad I won't be able to march with you though."

"You're a good person Anna."

She hugged me, and I went to talk to Mr. Saller. I told him everything that Emma told me, though my words tangled leading to me being nervous. I began to ramble, until he put a hand on my shoulder and smiled.

"Don't worry, Anna. Now do you want to try mallet percussion, or something like the piano?"

"Well I've always wanted to try mallets!"

"Sounds great, I'll get Lauren to start teaching you the basics."

Now I was officially six feet under, and I didn't even know it.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hey guys, sorry for the long break, band season is in its busy season so I'm a busy, busy person. Anyways, you don't want to hear me rant, so enjoy a chapter instead.**

* * *

According to Mulan and Rapunzel I didn't suck that badly at marimba. Even Lauren said I was picking it up quickly. On the first night of rehearsal, I had already learned most of the warm ups, but the four mallet stuff was too complicated. After all this time wondering, I finally found out what chops were. It was how long a person could last during warm ups, good chops meant less pain during an hour of summertime. Rapunzel wasn't kidding when she said Belle was good. She had already memorized most of the music for movement one and could play the other parts with the music.

Mr. Saller was trying to be patient with me, but he snapped constantly. He was nothing like Hand didn't have the same air of authority that kept me from defying him. I knew Saller was a nice man, but he wasn't the best teacher. I immediately knew why the percussion section wasn't nearly as high up as the band, or guard. The drumline goofed around half of practice and were incredibly rude to the staff who volunteered their time. Most of the mallet players, excluding Belle and Adam did not practice at all. My music was very easy, it was meant to be a bass guitar part. I probably could play bass guitar if I'd tried, but it was too late in the season to change that.

It was about a month in when the first event occurred. Rapunzel and I were over at Hadley's. The three of us got along welland were enjoying the time. Mulan was busy that day and she and Hadley didn't get along as well as the rest of us. We talked about indoor, and I asked about Dayton, where our WGI competition would take place. They both said it was incredibly exciting and the arena was huge. That's when we started talking about rooms. That day, Rapunzel made a fatal error that was not her fault.

"I wish I could room with you two, we all get along so well."

Hadley was quick to agree, but I didn't say much. I knew Rapunzel and Mulan had agreed last year to stick together, and they already found another pair to room with. I didn't really mind, I had already agreed to room with Merida and Esmeralda who both joined cymbal line with the plan that the three of us would be together. Even though this didn't happen, we still decided to room together.

About a week later, I walked into school with Belle. She walked on, she still had a chemistry lab to make up after being absent last week. As usual I made my way to the band hall where Rapunzel and I usually sat since Mulan was almost always late. Instead of my routine moving on as usual, I ran into Hadley who looked incredibly upset. Her lapis eyes glowed with sadness, so of course I stopped and went up to her.

"Hey what's wrong?"

"I-It's Rapunzel, I asked about r-rooms and she looked mad and said, 'I never said we were rooming together, and I don't really want to.' How could she even say that?"

Hadley had begun to sob by now and I hesitantly pulled her into a hug. Other students continued to walk by, choosing to ignore what was happening. It didn't make sense, Rapunzel wasn't like that. I mean, lately she had been a little rude. She always wanted to hang out with Belle and tended to ditch us to go see her. Even though Belle drove me around, I didn't get to talk to her much during indoor. There were too many people hovering around her.

"A-and she keeps ignoring us. All because she only wants to see Belle. Like Belle is the only one good enough to talk to."

It was true and it did hurt a bit to see that Rapunzel was ignoring us a little. I kind if understood it, after all, she never had another sibling to look up to. It was a phase, and I was sure it would blow over.

"You're right, it's not fair. You should talk to her about it."

"I don't know how to explain it. I know you get it and you feel it too. You should talk to her."

"I don't know, I will for my stuff, but you should too."

"It's the same problem, I'd just be reiterating and you're better at talking."

"I- well… um. Okay I will."

"Thank you."

"No problem."

Later that night, I asked Rapunzel if we could talk after practice. I didn't really want to do this, but I would have to do it sooner or later. I helped put the chairs and tables back in the cafeteria where we'd been practicing. The entire ordeal took less than ten minutes since everyone wanted to go home. The two of us met on the band room. She was sitting on the table in the front, waiting for me to arrive.

"Hey."

"Hey. Let's cut the small talk. You want to talk, I can tell."

"Alright. Well I stumbled upon Hadley this morning. She was really upset. What happened?"

Rapunzel sighed, as if she knew this was going to happen.

"I'll admit I was being a jerk, but she was being persistent and rude. She came up stating how the three of us were rooming together. Hadley even discussed plans, when I only said wish. After all, both of us are rooming with other people. I tried to tell her, I tried to say that I only said I wished we could, not that we were. She got really upset and called me a liar, who was trying to manipulate her. That was it, I snapped and said I wouldn't want to room with someone like her."

"Oh, she definitely didn't see it the same way."

"And, there's something else. I know you too well, Anna ."

"Alright, fine. Maybe I felt like you were ignoring us a teensy bit."

"I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to do that. I just was really excited to have a friend like Belle. She's like the older sister I never had."

"I kind of figured that's what was happening. It's fine."

"No, it isn't. I'm sorry. And I'm sorry you had to talk for her."

"Maybe you two should talk."

"That's the thing. I did try, I called her and felt like it was fine. Then she comes in talking behind my back to you. If she wanted to fix things, why didn't she tell me she was having these problems with me? It's not fair."

"No, it isn't."

"I'm just not sure it's worth staying for, I feel like I'm pushing to stayand she isn't trying. She's only trying to find reasons to hate me. I get that I screwed up."

"It's up to you Punzy, but you're stuck with me no matter what. Ok?"

"You know it."

Neither of us saw Hadley watching us through the door of the percussion garage.

Later that evening, well more like late at night doing homework, I received a text. I was surprised since I have no friends, okay fine, just kidding, I was surprised because it was Hadley. The following text conversation ensued;

_Thanks for talking to her, but I know she lied. _

**what was she lying about?**

_She said I didn't communicate, but I did! She just wouldn't listen_

**Hadley I think you're overreacting**

_Not you too_

_She was a lot more rude than that, and I didn't come out stating we were in a room together_

_And she did say we would room together_

_She lied_

**you two need to talk**

_I tried, I really did. I just want some sort of sign that she cares. She acted like I was doing her a favor talking to her._

**well you need to tell her that not me**

_She won't listen_

**Sometimes people don't listen but it's up to you to keep those ppl in your life**

_Okay. Thanks for listening Anna . Good night_

Of course the actual conversation was much longer than this, but this was the main gist of it. I was unsure of what was going on, but I knew I couldn't fix it for them. All I had to do was hope that those two would talk, I couldn't get tangled in this. It was already hard enough, dealing with the past and my sexual orientation crisis. To elaborate on that, I still liked Elsa much more than a friend should. We still ate lunch together on one and five, and I enjoyed texting her. When I first met her and thought we wouldn't be able to hold a long conversation, I was one hundred percent wrong. The two of us had grown closer, in fact there was a text from Elsa right at that moment.

_Hey how was indoor?_

**it was okay idk how you learned marimba so fast *cough* band nerd *cough***

_Please we both know you're a bigger band nerd hippo crate :P_

_*Hypocrite_

_Stupid autocorrect_

**did you just call me a hippo crate? I swear I don't eat that much**

_Don't worry you're still thin, though you sure seem to inhale food_

**hey! I just enjoy food and we both know how much we both love chocolate **

_Fine I yield. Did the talk with Rapunzel go well?_

**Yeah Hadley was totally overreacting not sure she saw it like Punzy did**

_I figured, anxiety does that to people. _

**Anxiety? I never knew**

_She'll tell you eventually, it's tough. I had it pretty severely for awhile, when I was younger. _

**I'm sorry you had to deal with that glad you're better now **

_Me too. Are you busy tomorrow?_

**nope why**

_It's Friday and there's lots of movies out. I need a buddy and you're free. _

**yeah sure what time?**

_How about seven? I can pick you up._

**sounds like awesomeness, I'll see you then**

_Great! Don't forget to tell your parents this time :P_

**I will I will don't worry mom**

_I'm fairly young and attractive to be your mum_

**yeah yeah we both know it**

_Ok well it's getting sort of late _

**yeah and I should prob try to get this sleep thing I heard it's on sale at Walmart **

_Haha such a bargain! I'll see you tomorrow._

**Good night sleep tight don't let the bedbugs bite :) **

_What about the bed alligators? They is scary. Good night :)_

I couldn't keep the smile off my face. My style of speech had worn off a bit on her, or she was very tired. Band may have been over, but Elsa was part of the local symphony orchestra. I'd been meaning to go to one of the concerts, but so far they intersected with my indoor schedule. This was highly disappointing, from what I'd heard, Elsa was incredibly talented. A prodigy and humble at that. Not only that, but she played the piano brilliantly according to Belle. I was excited to go to the movies with Elsa and I was curious as to what we would see. Hopefully not a romance, those things really make the waterworks run on me. The last thing I needed was to break down crying over a sappy love story next to the girl I had a crush on.

* * *

Rapunzel, Mulan and I walked out together. Hadley didn't join us today, which was no surprise. Our science teacher had finally returned our tests from the star unit, which even Mulan got a B on (which is a big deal in her world). I actually managed an 'A' on that test. Science always was my best subject. I was horrendous at math, for some reason they let me ahead a year. I managed a B, mostly due to the fact that I did my homework (more like he didn't check to see if it was the correct homework). When we reached the commons we parted ways, Rapunzel went toward the hall that went to the back lot, Mulan went to the percussion garage and I went out the front door to go toward the student parking lot. To me, it was surprising that Hans didn't pop up to escort me. He must have been busy, not that I'd noticed that day.

I met Belle in the parking lot, she was leaning against the door, arguing with someone I didn't recognize. As I approached, I noticed it was Adam, one of the lead marimba players. HIs talent was more of a natural talent. Sure, he practiced, but not as much as Belle. During shows, he always performed, almost too much. Once he scared a little girl during a show, making her cry. From there, the drumline had nicknamed him the beast. Of course he was a complete softie, but he did have a mean temper. Right now it seemed to be coming out as he argued with Belle.

"Why didn't you just ask me?"

"That's weird and you know it. It's normal to ask your sister."

"That's a waste of time, it's not weird. You should have asked me. You need to apologize to her."

"You're being ridiculous, she didn't mind, we're friends. Now please leave. I have someone to take home."

"No! We are going to talk."

Belle motioned for me to get in the car. I followed and she hopped in the front, rolling up the window.

"Belle! Come on!"

He roared, hitting the side of her car with his fists as he walked away. Belle rolled her eyes and started up the car. She pulled out and let out a breath when Adam was out of sight.

"What's got him riled up? Wait! Sorry I didn't mean to pry!"

"It's fine, he's just made I didn't talk to him firsthand to get the watch back."

"Watch?"

"We both agreed to give all gifts back."

"Oh, that makes sense I guess."

"Yeah, he's still not too happy with our break up."

"No kidding."

"So you and Elsa are going out?"

I sputtered and turned at her with wide eyes. Belle looked at me questioningly, her eyes widened with realization.

"Oh! Not like that, I meant out to the movies. I know you're dating Hans, who is real sweet. He held the door for me, then offered to carry some of my heavy books."

"Yeah we're going to see something. Hopefully nothing romantic, it'll make me cry."

"Yeah you kind of are a sap."

"Hey!"

I cried out, giving a punch to her arm. She turned to scowl at me playfully,

"Don't hit the driver! That's driver abuse!"

The two of us bantered all the way back home. When I got back I sprinted into my house. It was no surprise that neither of my parents were home. I know Elsa said to tell them, but they honestly wouldn't care if I went or not. They probably wouldn't be home before me. Father was always busy with the wrestling business, he was obsessed after Alek left for school. Mother was most likely at the clinic working with her patients. She usually did homehealth and then a clinic shift from one to five. It didn't matter, there were plenty of frozen dinners in the freezer.

I didn't have to do homework immediately thanks to the day being Friday. There was no practice tomorrow, since Saller had an event tomorrow. It would be the first time I'd get to sleep in since before band and school started. I decided to spend my time taking Shiloh out for a walk. The adorable black lab ran in circles, he almost looked like he was folding himself in half. The tip of his pink tongue hung out in the most adorable doggy way, with his tail waving back in forth in a happy cadence. I pulled out the blue leash and attached it to his collar. The two of us walked down to the local college that was less than a mile away. The creek here was beautiful, and there was even a covered bridge that went across the stream.

Shiloh splashed around in the cool water, muddying up his raven coat. He shook next to me, causing me to flinch, yelping at him for doing that. Instead of looking sorry, he wagged his tail and licked my face. I couldn't help but laugh and pet his wet fur. The two of us sat down, watching as the people moved on. The thought that all these people had their own lives, their own story and friends was amazing to me. I was another person in the background of their lives. Just another random face in the background of a dream. Each of us had our own lives and the idea that we could live a whole life inside houses next to each other and not know about it was astounding. The world felt a bit big. The thoughts swirled in my head, and I lost time. Eventually I checked my phone.

"Oops, time to go Shiloh! Come on doggy."

It was 4:43 and I still had to eat and get ready. This time, we jogged back to our house. By the end of it, both of us were panting, me more than the dog. I let the dog of the leash and jogged inside. After all that walking and jogging I decided a shower was a necessary thing. I hopped in, enjoying the warmth of the water. It was cold out, and I wasn't sure how Shiloh could possibly stand being in that freezing creek water. It hadn't snowed enough to actually do anything, which was a shame. There was a huge hill at the college, that Rapunzel, Mulan, and I always would go sledding on. After showering I went downstairs and opened the freezer. The bitter air nipped at my freshly warm skin. I pulled out the least disgusting looking frozen meal and pulled it out of the box. This one was some lean cuisine chicken tender things. I cute of the part over the chicken and sliced little holes on the plastic over the vegetables. I'd done it so many times, it was almost routine. In the microwave it would take exactly three minutes and twenty seven seconds and the veggies had to be stirred at two minutes and thirty seconds.

After it finished, I ate quickly so I wouldn't taste too much of it. The house was completely silent, so I plugged my iPhone into a set of speakers so it would play something. Immediately Amsterdam started playing, which I absolutely adored. I wondered what I should wear to the movies. Normally I wouldn't care, but Elsa always looked so put together, and I didn't want to look like a mess. In the end I picked a classic blue ninja turtle t shirt that Kristoff gave to me as a gift when I was thirteen. I adored the shirt and it was so soft. Kristoff, Ethan, and I used to watch TMNT together when we were younger. The shirt was fairly casual, but we were going to a movie. I picked a dark wash pair of jeans along with my converse. These shoes matched pretty much everything, but the tips stained fairly easily.

My hair was pretty much dry, and I put it up in a messy bun instead of its usual twin braids. Of course I had my phone and money. I didn't own a purse, I really hated them for some reason. They were inconvenient and I was bound to forget it wherever I took it. Rather than a purse, I had a wristlet. It would be harder for me to use, since it was attached to one of my appendages. By the time 6:30 rolled around, I was ready to go. It was no surprise that Elsa was impeccably on time, arriving as the clock hit the time previously mentioned. I walked out to the sleek silver vehicle, where the blonde girl was waiting for me.


End file.
